Finding My Path

Finding my Path - Part 1


Sometimes with journal entries and blog posts, I don't really know where to start other than right now:

These past few months have been interesting at the least.

^It has been a long recovery since the loss of Matthew

I was without work for a bit, but I'm now working 2 jobs.

We found out we're pregnant with twins!

Ashley's brother, Cody, recently got married <3

We also got to visit Indiana:

my brother Nick, standing face-to-face with a tiger

I just finished up with a job teaching summer school (Physical Science) at the same school where I was hired earlier in the year to be an after-school film teacher. Teaching at Independence High School here in Provo has helped me realize again that I really want to be able to teach and help others achieve the dreams they have. There is nothing more rewarding to me than seeing someone become who they've always dreamed about becoming.

Teaching outline for after-school film class at Independence High

I've changed majors yet again to essentially become a high school industrial tech teacher. I am still going into film, but this is just another route to doing that and gaining a teaching degree. There are thoughts that maybe I'm just trying to take the easier route to getting out of college the quickest, but I also found out that a Journalism major with a Broadcasting emphasis, was not for me. I'd be writing journalism articles for the next 3 years, all just to get practical experience in a television studio for a semester or two. That was not for me.

Inside the BYUtv Truck during a football game

With the Technology and Engineering Education degree, I'll learn CAD, a 3D Imaging program, wood and metal working, which will give me lots of prop-making and set-building experience to pull from in my years as a producer. Plus, like I said, I'll get a teaching degree as well, when I retire from the film/television industry and teach. Having made that decision, I still feel like I doubt myself and the paths I'm choosing for education.

Ethan being goofy

Having Ethan, my brother, here in Utah while pursuing an acting career, has really helped me to see that it really is okay to set aside all the things you think people want you to be in order to do whatever it is you've dreamed about doing, regardless if it makes sense or not. Part of that this summer for me has involved me really delving into the video game community as a content creator. I've been busy using my YouTube channel to upload podcasts, tutorials, or factual videos about video games.

Ashley and I realized that I needed to do something to keep my creative juices flowing. It's great for me to consistently have a creative outlet, so that I don't get bored or drained from the mundane of everyday life. I remembered my roommate pointing out to me a while back that I would want to start all these really cool film or creative projects and actually never pursue or follow-through with any of them and that's what got me going. So that motivated me to actually set out and do something.

I've been super busy and passionate about the streams, podcasts, events, and videos I put out. I've had to become super active on Twitter, which is something I was trying to avoid until I got into production on something bigger than my personal stuff, but it has brought a lot of success with it, although I hate having to feel like I have to check it to stay up-to-date on what's going on with collaborators, colleagues, and news thats happening in the areas where I'm creating and promoting content. Summary: Twitter is a necessary evil of being in the entertainment biz.

I recently did a gaming event online, where gamers got together and did activities that promoted the positive environments, experiences, and opportunities that video games can give people in their lives. I got a lot of response from several big names, some of whom I didn't think to ever hear from. It wasn't by accident that all this was happening to me as I was making sure that I had my spiritual priorities in order. I'd always known that if I put the Lord first in all that I did, especially in how I start my days (meaningful prayer, scripture study, meditation, etc.) I would be blessed in my other efforts, especially my aspirations in life. I knew that this success was a direct blessing from those improvements I was trying to make in my life. These people wouldn't have responded to some no-name content creator had it not been for some heavenly assistance, to which I am utterly grateful for.

Let me lead you now into the next part of my thoughts on where I'm going in life and these blog posts:

I'm starting to grasp the flow of my day-to-day life, how it should be and what I should be doing. I'm learning what takes priority and what amount of time I can and should dedicate to each good, better, or best aspect of my life that I'm currently focusing on. I see improvement, yet doubt, worry, depression and anxiety start to creep in and I doubt again where I am headed in life and if I've just wasted months and looking back years of my life.

TO BE CONTINUED...